Good essay example I think. Hope it helps.

Describe one event from your country’s history, and explain why it was important. Provide clear explanations and details in support of your answer.

There are a lot of countries all over the world, and some historical events play an important role for these countries. For example, moonwalk is important for USA, and the huge earthquake in Athens is important for Greece. My country is a peninsula in the Mediterranean Sea, and has also a crucial historical case that is called as surviving of Cyprus. Cyprus gained its freedom from Greece and Turkey, which are mentioned (I'm not sure wether it is correctly used) as the controlling powers of the Cyprus. Gaining freedom was twenty years ago, and the importance of this case comes from its effects on both economy and education.

First of all, economic development of the Cyprus has accelerated after the announcement of freedom, because the dominant countries restricted the both, the local and international trade in Cyprus. Moreover, sea tourism was impossible to accomplish to the Cyprus due to war atmosphere in the peninsula. Soldiers from Greece and Turkey covered the every part of the country. Trade and tourism begin began to provide money for the citizens with the arrival of freedom. The more the amount of the money coming to country increases, the more people solved their economic problems. For example, my father had a hotel near the seaside, but he could not earn much money due to lack of tourists. However, he has been making much money after freedom.

Secondly, freedom of the Cyprus is so important that it provided the residents of the country to be well-educated. Cyprus did not have a university, and students graduating from high school needed to go abroad for university education. Nevertheless, going abroad for education was also restricted by the controlling powers. People had stayed uneducated in meaning of university education until freedom came. The restriction of going abroad was quitted as soon as the controlling powers left the country. Although some people quitted education for this reason, a lot of people are well educated in the Cyprus by helping of freedom.

In conclusion, political pressure caused by some countries affected some qualities of my country, specifically, education and economy. Freedom became a milestone to eliminate the bad effects of this pressure. Trade and tourism were released again, so people started to have a normal life like other Europeans.
Thanks for feedbacks.

-underworld03

Hi underworld, :)
 
I think your essay is very good; it is well developed and your ideas are strongly supporting your essay. There is only a few grammatical mistakes.
 
But I think that the first sentence in your introduction is not very strong. Another point, it would be much better if you provided an example to support the third paragraph in your essay.
 
That's all, I hope that you don't mind my comments.
 
Best Wishes :) 

If you could change anything about your country, what would you change?

I would relocate the official or the government buildings from down town area to a new official building city . The official buildings cause huge problems to everyone who live there . Cairo is the capital of Egypt. It has more then fifteen million people. Government buildings’ new location would solve many problems such as traffics, pollution, workers’ time and many other things.

suffering every morning from very high traffic, because of most of cars and transportations are going to the same direction and the same place or area. The new official city would be somewhere far in empty area. Workers would have buses to pick up them and drop them off. In this way, the traffic would be much easier then before.

Moreover, would have less pollution because of fewer cars and less transportations. This pollution cause many diseases to many citizens. The more diseases the more decrease of the improving process. Many kids and adults who live in would have fresh air to breath.

In another word, workers would go to their jobs on time. They would give more effort as they have more energy for work. They would have a place to sit in their transportations instead of being standing and tired all the way to work and back from it. In addition, many people would get more benefits other then workers; public would fell a lot comfortable going to their work or even in their day off due to the less traffics.

In conclusion, relocating the official buildings to a new official city would improve the life in . It would attract more business investors and tourism to . It would be more benefits to everyone inside and outside . It is a hard process to do, but it is not impossible.    

Do you agree or disagree that the graduate education should be free and supported by the government?

I agree that, graduated education and researches should be free and supported by its government. Many students wish to do their master degree and their P.H.D., but they could not, because of the cost of the education. Governments should support everyone, who wants to do something to improve his country. Graduate researches and education is one of the most important reasons of the nations’ improvement, and it play a vital turns in our life such as technology, education, health, business and safety.

Graduate studies lead us to positives steps in our life. Without it we would not be able to make our life easier as it is now. Imagine our life without technology. Think one day that no planes or no cars. It would be so hard to do our life tasks easy or fast as it is now. Technologies enable us to make our dreams come true in any field, because of researches and studies.

Moreover, the education itself would not be improved that way now days with out these studies. The education process is much easier now, we can get any information we need or post it somewhere in less then one minute. In addition, these types of gradate educations enable researchers do go further in their fields of study, and give us their out put. As an example, if we could not do these studies, we could not find treatments for most of the diseases, which would cause the death for so many of us.

In another words, the safety of our life relay on these researches. They trying to search and dig for the solution of everything in order to save us from any danger. Safety factors are one of the most important things in our life now.

Finally, due to all of the above, governments should make the graduate education and researches free. Everyone would be able to shear in the improvement process of his nation. We have to conceder it as one of our most needs not just a higher level of education.

both are written in 30 min. each as the exam one. thank you .

i need your opinion.

i do not know the process of submmition mixed some sentences together i dnont know whats wrong!!