Independent Writing Task 3

No one can ignore the effect of artistes in our society in term of amusing and entertainment. Most of us return tired to home after long day of work and watch our favorite show or listen to our favorite musician and relax. However, in term of the contribution to societies, I believe and support the scientists. They work hard in order to relieve our sickness and stress, offer us comfortable life, , and help us to move forward.

The first great contribution of the scientists is in the medical field. Without the scientists, we are still suffering diseases and pain. Fifty years ago, our children became aided because of the polio disease. The disease crippled them. Now, with the help of scientists we can prevent many diseases through vaccines. The drugs also, play an important role in decrease our pain and treat our diseases. Every day, new drug is developed with lower dose, more effects and fewer side effects.

In addition to the medical field, the technology plays a tremendous role in our communication, transportation, study, and entertainment. Without the computer we can not listen to each other thought and ideas easily and quickly through our cell phones or our personal computer. We book our ticket online within couple minute. We made hotel reservation by simple touch to our key board. Moreover we can use the computer to do research study and to pay our bills. What a great facilities with one device that made our life easier, faster and convenient.

In term of artists, the technology helps the artist. Without the advance in this digital age and the advent of new computer programs that allow the sound and the voice to develop clearly. With the facilities that the internet provides that helps the artists to presents themselves all over the world. The internet helps the artists listen to other people voices and know what they like and dislike. So, artists nowadays know how to improve themselves and to attack their targeted goals and appear to more people around the world faster than twenty years ago. In this way, the internet helps us to exchange our ideas, express our thoughts and move forward towards our free choices.

To sum up, Technology and science play a tremendous role in our society. I do not think our youth can imagine their lives without their cell phones, laptops and advances digital cameras. The technology helps us to achieve our tasks quickly and efficiently, solve our health problems precisely, globalize our ideas and open the gates of success to whole people around the globe.
                                         

-zenakhalid

Score = 4.5

Great essay - just need to be more careful with your language use. The 3rd body paragraph was excellent as a way to incorporate both aspects of the topic and use the other argument to actually rationalize your own!

:D

Artists can produce portraits, pictures, or music those are influence to human’s mind and emotion. Moreover, artists can give some inspirations and hopefuls to every people by using their artworks as a medium. However, I personally agree with the idea of scientists make the most important contributions to society rather than artists do that.

To begin with, scientists always invent something new for helping people. A job of scientists is invention to solve every problem in the world. Therefore, scientists always come up with invention product which can solve problems that are occurred in the society and will impact to human’s life. For instance, the Swine flu problem, which currently influences around the world, scientists have to study about it and try to invent some vaccines that can protect human from infection or some drugs that can kill this disease. The vaccines or drugs that are invented by scientists can save a lot of human’s life. From this example, I think that scientists take an important duty to responsible with helping people in some way.

In addition, I think scientists provide a lot of knowledge to society. Scientists always study about everything in the world such as ecosystem of the world, animal’s life, or any impact that human done for the whole world. These studying will provide knowledge and answer for people in the society that can help these people know better about the world or society and they will use this knowledge to adapt themselves for surviving in the world. Consider, for example, scientists studying about global warming situation. They report a lot of information about the cause and the result of this situation to the people in the world. So, human can use this information to protect and solve this problem to make less impact as much as possible to them.

Finally, I feel that scientist always provide some way that can help human survive in the future or make the world to be better. There are a lot of problems that are not occurring for now. It is a responsibility of scientists to figure these problems out and provide any possible solutions for solving them. With the options that provide by the scientists, human in society have the way to survive in have the better life in the future. For example, in some day, oil will be gone out from the world. Scientist can predict this problem, so, they try to find other sources for power supply. Currently, they invent Gasohol and E21 as an optional and try to test them in the real world and hope that these options can help human in the day that oil is gone out from the world.

In considering who is the most important to contribute society either scientists or artists, I have explored issues such as invention something to help people; providing more knowledge and more understanding about the world or society; and give people some way to survive in the future. These factors lead me to believe that scientists play an important role to support society more than artists.

Artists can produce portraits, pictures, or music those are influence to human’s mind and emotion. Moreover, artists can give some inspirations and hopefuls to every people by using their artworks as a medium. However, I personally agree with the idea of scientists make the most important contributions to society rather than artists do that.

To begin with, scientists always invent something new for helping people. A job of scientists is invention to solve every problem in the world. Therefore, scientists always come up with invention product which can solve problems that are occurred in the society and will impact to human’s life. For instance, the Swine flu problem, which currently influences around the world, scientists have to study about it and try to invent some vaccines that can protect human from infection or some drugs that can kill this disease. The vaccines or drugs that are invented by scientists can save a lot of human’s life. From this example, I think that scientists take an important duty to responsible with helping people in some way.

In addition, I think scientists provide a lot of knowledge to society. Scientists always study about everything in the world such as ecosystem of the world, animal’s life, or any impact that human done for the whole world. These studying will provide knowledge and answer for people in the society that can help these people know better about the world or society and they will use this knowledge to adapt themselves for surviving in the world. Consider, for example, scientists studying about global warming situation. They report a lot of information about the cause and the result of this situation to the people in the world. So, human can use this information to protect and solve this problem to make less impact as much as possible to them.

Finally, I feel that scientist always provide some way that can help human survive in the future or make the world to be better. There are a lot of problems that are not occurring for now. It is a responsibility of scientists to figure these problems out and provide any possible solutions for solving them. With the options that provide by the scientists, human in society have the way to survive in have the better life in the future. For example, in some day, oil will be gone out from the world. Scientist can predict this problem, so, they try to find other sources for power supply. Currently, they invent Gasohol and E21 as an optional and try to test them in the real world and hope that these options can help human in the day that oil is gone out from the world.

In considering who is the most important to contribute society either scientists or artists, I have explored issues such as invention something to help people; providing more knowledge and more understanding about the world or society; and give people some way to survive in the future. These factors lead me to believe that scientists play an important role to support society more than artists.

-sasin324

Score = 4.0

I am SOOOOO tempted to award you 4.5, but it is simply your language use that is pulling you back. You write really well in terms of ideas, details and examples - but you really need to use more accurate and sophistocated grammatical constructions.

:D

As we moved to the twenty first century onwards, different changes in our society happens from all aspects of technology. These are the results of the creations of scientists that makes their existence viable to all concern. Personally, I agree that scientists make the  most important contributions to society because of the following reasons, they are the source of all inventions; their importance to the contributions of human needs and because of their prominent talents acknowledged globally.

First of all, scientists are the known to be the inventor of all times. During our elementary education, our teachers taught us in Science subjects different inventors and scientist and it's importance to the use of society. Consider, for example the invention of Benjamin Franklin, he discovered penicillin for the treatment of infection and serves as antibiotic. This simple invention made the world discover that their is certain drug for treatment of wounds.

In addition to the first reason of being an inventor of all times, they are beneficial because of their potential talents that contribute to science and technology. Nowadays, myriad inventions came out every century because they discovered something which is of great importance to the society. For example, the advance innovations of different electronic gadgets and computers has made the people worked with convenience and speed . As a result, everyone had appreciated the works of scientists that makes the world so easy and functional.

Finally, along with their prominent inventions and it's importance to the use of society,their inventions are recognized and acknowledged globally. Being a scientist is not an easy task, it entails a lot of effort to think of thier new inventions and how they will make it a success.Although, there are other important persons who may contribute like artists and others but the works of the scientist are far more important among others.

In considering the issue that scientists has valuable contributions to our nation, I have explored these notions, scientists are  the sole key of all inventions; considered to be of great importance in the advancement of science and technology; their innovative inventions are known unversally. In this changing world, we need a great person such as the scientists who could make a difference to all positively and appreciate every single inventions made for his mother Earth.

Have you ever heard about global warming? This issue comes from extensive researches of scientists. People around the world acknowledge bad impacts of human activities to the environment. Therefore, they concern environmental crisis and try to find solution for this problem. Human life today will not be better than in the past if there was no great scientists’ work. Based on this fact, I personally believe that, scientists have contributed their working to society more than artists.

To begin with, experimental science is symbol of society development for whole world. In developed countries, several researches are carried out by scientists year by year. Their works are not only benefit for people of their country but also for other nations in this world as well. HIV research, for instance, has analyzed possibility of HIV infection for new born child. When this research was first introduced to public, people in my country, Laos, know also that new baby born has slim chances for not being infected HIV from mother. Before this research, we all assume that, babies will be infected HIV from their mother 100%. The publication demonstrate intensive care methods for infected HIV mother. Hence, Lao women, who infected HIV follow scientists’ advice. Now, new babies born from HIV infected mother reduce the possibility to infect from their mother.

In addition to society development, I think that scientists’ works have enormous impact to the specific society or world. There are many things need to find answer for human’s life. We need good inventors to create machine, pharmacy, and many things for daily use. Einstein, one greatest scientist of all time, invented light for using at night. Without his work, people won’t have a chance to work or being active after sunset.

Finally, alongside with developments and impacts of scientist to society, I think that scientists’ works have influences for society more than art work. Global warming is the good example to explain on this. People around the world keep eyes on protecting world. The politic election in each country has included these issues to their election campaign. Before this research, people do not know or care about it so much. If this research was not carried out, our world will be damage without warning.

In conclusion, science has contributed a lot in society. As I explain the society benefit from development of science, useful for human life and impacts to society. This makes me believe that, scientists are great engines for society and human development.

Attachment: Some people think that scientists make the most important contributions to society.doc (24.0KB)

As we moved to the twenty first century onwards, different changes in our society happens from all aspects of technology. These are the results of the creations of scientists that makes their existence viable to all concern. Personally, I agree that scientists make the  most important contributions to society because of the following reasons, they are the source of all inventions; their importance to the contributions of human needs and because of their prominent talents acknowledged globally.

First of all, scientists are the known to be the inventor of all times. During our elementary education, our teachers taught us in Science subjects different inventors and scientist and it's importance to the use of society. Consider, for example the invention of Benjamin Franklin, he discovered penicillin for the treatment of infection and serves as antibiotic. This simple invention made the world discover that their is certain drug for treatment of wounds.

In addition to the first reason of being an inventor of all times, they are beneficial because of their potential talents that contribute to science and technology. Nowadays, myriad inventions came out every century because they discovered something which is of great importance to the society. For example, the advance innovations of different electronic gadgets and computers has made the people worked with convenience and speed . As a result, everyone had appreciated the works of scientists that makes the world so easy and functional.

Finally, along with their prominent inventions and it's importance to the use of society,their inventions are recognized and acknowledged globally. Being a scientist is not an easy task, it entails a lot of effort to think of thier new inventions and how they will make it a success.Although, there are other important persons who may contribute like artists and others but the works of the scientist are far more important among others.

In considering the issue that scientists has valuable contributions to our nation, I have explored these notions, scientists are  the sole key of all inventions; considered to be of great importance in the advancement of science and technology; their innovative inventions are known unversally. In this changing world, we need a great person such as the scientists who could make a difference to all positively and appreciate every single inventions made for his mother Earth.

-venus

Score = 3.5

The body paragraphs lack development through supporting details, convincing examples, and concession statements. In fact, it looks like you've spent more time developing your introduction and conclusion than the actual body - or main part of your essay. Make sure you enhance your body paragraphs more before worrying about long sophistocated introductions or conclusions.

:D

Have you ever heard about global warming? This issue comes from extensive researches of scientists. People around the world acknowledge bad impacts of human activities to the environment. Therefore, they concern environmental crisis and try to find solution for this problem. Human life today will not be better than in the past if there was no great scientists’ work. Based on this fact, I personally believe that, scientists have contributed their working to society more than artists.

To begin with, experimental science is symbol of society development for whole world. In developed countries, several researches are carried out by scientists year by year. Their works are not only benefit for people of their country but also for other nations in this world as well. HIV research, for instance, has analyzed possibility of HIV infection for new born child. When this research was first introduced to public, people in my country, Laos, know also that new baby born has slim chances for not being infected HIV from mother. Before this research, we all assume that, babies will be infected HIV from their mother 100%. The publication demonstrate intensive care methods for infected HIV mother. Hence, Lao women, who infected HIV follow scientists’ advice.
Now, new babies born from HIV infected mother reduce the possibility to infect from their mother.

In addition to society development, I think that scientists’ works have enormous impact to the specific society or world. There are many things need to find answer for human’s life. We need good inventors to create machine, pharmacy, and many things for daily use. Einstein, one greatest scientist of all time, invented light for using at night. Without his work, people won’t have a chance to work or being active after sunset.

Finally, alongside with developments and impacts of scientist to society, I think that scientists’ works have influences for society more than art work. Global warming is the good example to explain on this. People around the world keep eyes on protecting world. The politic election in each country has included these issues to their election campaign. Before this research, people do not know or care about it so much. If this research was not carried out, our world will be damage without warning.

In conclusion, science has contributed a lot in society. As I explain the society benefit from development of science, useful for human life and impacts to society. This makes me believe that, scientists are great engines for society and human development.

-norkhame

Score = 3.5

Some of the arguments are hard to follow/rationalize, and some of your supporting details are factually wrong (for example, are you sure it was Einstein who invented the electric light?). The language use needs a lot more development and accuracy as well.

:D

We, old and young people alike, given a chance, would have wanted to watch the performance of the Lion King in Broadway. Phenomenal acting talent, beautiful voice and creative costumes can be seen from the audience’s seat. Watching this opera makes us happy. This is one example of the contributions of artists to the society. However, this wonderful performance cannot be achieved without the help of the special effect and sound system technology, can it? Thus, although artists’ contribution to the society is important, I personally think scientist make the most important contribution to society.

With science, human are able to increase our survival rate due to the invention of modern transportation.  Thousand years ago, human’s methods of transportation are their feet animals. It might take them many hours to travel a 10-mile distance. Now, look at modern society, you can see that by the invention of car, train and airplane, we can travel thousands of miles in a short period of time. Now, imagine if one of your family members is sick and needs immediate medical attention. What would have happened if the nearby hospital is one hundred miles away from your home? When I was two years old, I had a severe stomach infection. My mother used to tell me that I almost died if I did not get to the hospital in time.  

In addition to the transportation technology, one of the most important contributions of science is medical advancement. Without medical technologies, doctors will not be able to cure many diseases. You might remember about malaria epidemic that cause millions of people died in 19^th century. Without the discoveries of the cause of malaria disease and the knowledge on how to cure it, I am sure that it would have cause many more death at that time. You can also look at the heart disease, the current’s most disease leading to death.  In the last decade, death rate for people who have heart disease has decreased significantly. Why? Well, thanks to all scientists in medical profession, we can now be assured that we have higher chance of being cured when we are sick.

Finally, in combination of transportation and medical advancement, I think that communication technology really helps us to have a better quality and to further increase our survival of life. With the help of communication technology such telephone, web and video conference, doctors can share their knowledge and discoveries to many professional in the medical field, which in turn will benefits the society all around the world. People do not have to travel to United States to have heart surgeries. Doctors in the developing country can perform similar surgeries and save the patient life.

In considering who make the most important contribution to the society, I have considered the issue of the most basic need of human being, ‘life’ itself.  So without discrediting the artists’ contribution to the society, these considerations make me agree that scientists’ contribution to the society is indeed more important that artists’ contribution because they have made the biggest impact in human life.

Some people claim that art is the heart of the society. They feel that artists plays major role in developing society .Well, it may seem logical for some people, but from my own perspective, it does not. Personally, I agree with the assertion that scientists make the most important contributions to society. This opinion is based on notions such as medical developments; increasing technological progress; and protecting the earth.

To start with, I believe that the innovation of medical benefits the society a lot. Scientists did a lot of research from past to today. They investigated the unknown parts of human and improved the human health through medicines, vacations and so on. Of course, in some cases, researches were unsuccessful. However, scientists did not give up their studies.They worked persistently and obtained favorable results. According to my own experience, I am a doctor and I can do my best when I face very difficult conditions in my job. I always struggle to the disease and never think to forgo. I and my colleagues could work for the society to give our best.

In addition to the issue of medical progress, I think technological developments to society is undisputed. While some think that it leads to wars, I think its contributions outweigh the drawbacks. Communication is so easy today compared to past due to the internet, mobile phones. Hence, the relationships are flourished. From my own experience, I could not connect with people living in foreign country 20 years ago since there was no internet connection. Today it is more convenient so I can communicate other cultures through messenger services. This would create harmony in the society as increasing the communications leads to sharing more things. These cause developing and scientists are the main reason for this developing society.

Finally, in combination with medical and technological progress, I feel that with the help of science the world are protected better today. The species, forests and the other valuable things in the world are more safe. Researchers  work harder to maintain social life by improving their techniques. For example, these consist of laws, regulations , genetic seeds. The genetic seeds increase the number of forests so it creates more oxygen.Moreover, the scientists put pressure to government. As a result of this, government regulates some laws to protect forests,oceans and natural habitat.

In considering the relationships between scientists and society, I have explored issues such as medical improvement; changing the level of technology; and saving our world. These considerations lead me to agree that scientists play major role to society compared to artists. While artists have positive effects to society, scientists work outweigh them. Art would not be developed with the help of science.

Beyond doubt, art contribute our society. Great music or paintings, movies could heal people when they have heart breaks or big stress. Children could develop their artistic ability by looking at or listening to works created prestigious artists. However, I personally agree with the assertion that scientists make the most important contributions to society.

To begin with, I think that scientific invention or research could help people. Especially in medical field, scientists have developed many medicines, medical devices and diagnosis. They have made it possible to find a cause of disease in early stage and made many options to treat patients. The medical development has saved many patients every moment who were supposed to lose their lives some years ago. For example, there were many kinds of infectious disease including tuberculosis or influenza in human history. Many people died of the diseases in the past. However, after scientists invested many types of vaccine, the mortality of infectious disease decreased rapidly.

In addition to medical contribution, I believe that science can make our lives more convenient. In modern life, we use many convenient tools such as a car, refrigerator and computer. With these modern technologies, we can go anywhere quickly, communicate with people all over the world and eat what you like every day. For instance, people didn’t have cell phones a few decades ago. At that time, they couldn’t get contact with someone whenever they want to after going out. They always had to look for a public phone. This situation used to bring them troubles for an appointment or schedule. These days a cell phone solved these problems in such an irritating situation.

Finally, alongside the issues of development in medical field and modern technology, I feel that people can keep their lives safe thanks to scientists. You must have seen or been examined body check with a machine at an airport when you flied to another country from your county. Dangerous chemicals or guns, knives could be found without being looking at inside of a suitcase or pockets. If custom officers find someone who has powder, they can find out whether or not it is illegal drug quickly. These cases don’t allow dangerous people to enter to your country using scientific technique. Scientific proof can identify someone who is against low and helps you stay away from dangerous environment.

In considering the issue of science and its contribution, I have explored factors such as medical effect, modern technology and safe environment. These considerations lead me to agree that scientists give our society more important contribution than artists do. 

Imagin your life without scientists, what will happen to the world? there will not be universities, all the great inventions that facilitate our life will disappear, you won't be able to travel to different country the invention of plan couldn't take place without scientists. Similarily, there will ot be phones, cars, or refrigerators. Sure it will be a hard life. I believe that scientsts make the most important contribution for society.

To begin with, Science are necesary for life. All  inventions which made our life easier were developed by scientists. All the theories that changed the face of the world was established by scientists. for example, consider your day. you wake up using an alarm then you open the referigerator to take your breakfast, afterwards, you will drive your car to yor work, and so on; all your daily activities is dependant on inventions that have been developed by scientists, So they are nescesary for their societies. in contrast, consider your life without artists. what will happen? Nothing, or just you will have less fun.

In addition, Scientists always lead people to the right path. Sciences are based on facts which can,t be wrong. However, we sometimes learn from artists wrong informations or bad habits. for instance, you will not find a scientist who says smoking is good for health, however, you will watch some artists who may say that in their roles in films, if they are actors.

Finally, Scientists serve the world to be better without a considerable rewards, however artists often work for their own desires and more money. consider for example a scientist in chemistry and a famous actor, who will do more work and and benefite his society? Sure it is the scientist, but who will be rewarded more? all of us now that the income of artists is much more than that of scientists. So scientists are always altriustic and sacrifice their lives for thir societies..

To sum up, these factors lead me to believe that Scientists are the most important contribuers in society, and I hope to see scientists in a better position by rewarding them more than artists.

We, old and young people alike, given a chance, would have wanted to watch the performance of the Lion King in Broadway. Phenomenal acting talent, beautiful voice and creative costumes can be seen from the audience’s seat. Watching this opera makes us happy. This is one example of the contributions of artists to the society. However, this wonderful performance cannot be achieved without the help of the special effect and sound system technology, can it? Thus, although artists’ contribution to the society is important, I personally think scientist make the most important contribution to society.

With science, human are able to increase our survival rate due to the invention of modern transportation.  Thousand years ago, human’s methods of transportation are their feet animals. It might take them many hours to travel a 10-mile distance. Now, look at modern society, you can see that by the invention of car, train and airplane, we can travel thousands of miles in a short period of time. Now, imagine if one of your family members is sick and needs immediate medical attention. What would have happened if the nearby hospital is one hundred miles away from your home? When I was two years old, I had a severe stomach infection. My mother used to tell me that I almost died if I did not get to the hospital in time.  

In addition to the transportation technology, one of the most important contributions of science is medical advancement. Without medical technologies, doctors will not be able to cure many diseases. You might remember about malaria epidemic that cause millions of people died in 19th century. Without the discoveries of the cause of malaria disease and the knowledge on how to cure it, I am sure that it would have cause many more death at that time. You can also look at the heart disease, the current’s most disease leading to death.  In the last decade, death rate for people who have heart disease has decreased significantly. Why? Well, thanks to all scientists in medical profession, we can now be assured that we have higher chance of being cured when we are sick.

Finally, in combination of transportation and medical advancement, I think that communication technology really helps us to have a better quality and to further increase our survival of life. With the help of communication technology such telephone, web and video conference, doctors can share their knowledge and discoveries to many professional in the medical field, which in turn will benefits the society all around the world. People do not have to travel to United States to have heart surgeries. Doctors in the developing country can perform similar surgeries and save the patient life.

In considering who make the most important contribution to the society, I have considered the issue of the most basic need of human being, ‘life’ itself.  So without discrediting the artists’ contribution to the society, these considerations make me agree that scientists’ contribution to the society is indeed more important that artists’ contribution because they have made the biggest impact in human life.

-inasaja

Score = 4.0

A good essay, but excludes discussion about the arts too much. You need to blend the two into your arguments to make your opinion more balanced and then convincing.

:D

Some people claim that art is the heart of the society. They feel that artists plays major role in developing society .Well, it may seem logical for some people, but from my own perspective, it does not. Personally, I agree with the assertion that scientists make the most important contributions to society. This opinion is based on notions such as medical developments; increasing technological progress; and protecting the earth.

To start with, I believe that the innovation of medical benefits the society a lot. Scientists did a lot of research from past to today. They investigated the unknown parts of human and improved the human health through medicines, vacations and so on. Of course, in some cases, researches were unsuccessful. However, scientists did not give up their studies.They worked persistently and obtained favorable results. According to my own experience, I am a doctor and I can do my best when I face very difficult conditions in my job. I always struggle to the disease and never think to forgo. I and my colleagues could work for the society to give our best.

In addition to the issue of medical progress, I think technological developments to society is undisputed. While some think that it leads to wars, I think its contributions outweigh the drawbacks. Communication is so easy today compared to past due to the internet, mobile phones. Hence, the relationships are flourished. From my own experience, I could not connect with people living in foreign country 20 years ago since there was no internet connection. Today it is more convenient so I can communicate other cultures through messenger services. This would create harmony in the society as increasing the communications leads to sharing more things. These cause developing and scientists are the main reason for this developing society.

Finally, in combination with medical and technological progress, I feel that with the help of science the world are protected better today. The species, forests and the other valuable things in the world are more safe. Researchers  work harder to maintain social life by improving their techniques. For example, these consist of laws, regulations , genetic seeds. The genetic seeds increase the number of forests so it creates more oxygen.Moreover, the scientists put pressure to government. As a result of this, government regulates some laws to protect forests,oceans and natural habitat.

In considering the relationships between scientists and society, I have explored issues such as medical improvement; changing the level of technology; and saving our world. These considerations lead me to agree that scientists play major role to society compared to artists. While artists have positive effects to society, scientists work outweigh them. Art would not be developed with the help of science.

-metuecon86

Score = 5.0

A few minor problems with some language use and written expression, but overall and excellent response. Well done!

:D

Imagin your life without scientists, what will happen to the world? there will not be universities, all the great inventions that facilitate our life will disappear, you won't be able to travel to different country the invention of plan couldn't take place without scientists. Similarily, there will ot be phones, cars, or refrigerators. Sure it will be a hard life. I believe that scientsts make the most important contribution for society.

 
To begin with, Science are necesary for life. All  inventions which made our life easier were developed by scientists. All the theories that changed the face of the world was established by scientists. for example, consider your day. you wake up using an alarm then you open the referigerator to take your breakfast, afterwards, you will drive your car to yor work, and so on; all your daily activities is dependant on inventions that have been developed by scientists, So they are nescesary for their societies. in contrast, consider your life without artists. what will happen? Nothing, or just you will have less fun.

 
In addition, Scientists always lead people to the right path. Sciences are based on facts which can,t be wrong. However, we sometimes learn from artists wrong informations or bad habits. for instance, you will not find a scientist who says smoking is good for health, however, you will watch some artists who may say that in their roles in films, if they are actors.

 
Finally, Scientists serve the world to be better without a considerable rewards, however artists often work for their own desires and more money. consider for example a scientist in chemistry and a famous actor, who will do more work and and benefite his society? Sure it is the scientist, but who will be rewarded more? all of us now that the income of artists is much more than that of scientists. So scientists are always altriustic and sacrifice their lives for thir societies..

To sum up, these factors lead me to believe that Scientists are the most important contribuers in society, and I hope to see scientists in a better position by rewarding them more than artists.
 

-alpharmacist

Score = 3.0

Your ideas are only supported very vaguely, and you need more in the way of concession statements to create a more balanced feel to your opinion. You also need to be much more careful with basic punctuation!

:D

Beyond doubt, art contribute our society. Great music or paintings, movies could heal people when they have heart breaks or big stress. Children could develop their artistic ability by looking at or listening to works created prestigious artists. However, I personally agree with the assertion that scientists make the most important contributions to society.

To begin with, I think that scientific invention or research could help people. Especially in medical field, scientists have developed many medicines, medical devices and diagnosis. They have made it possible to find a cause of disease in early stage and made many options to treat patients. The medical development has saved many patients every moment who were supposed to lose their lives some years ago. For example, there were many kinds of infectious disease including tuberculosis or influenza in human history. Many people died of the diseases in the past. However, after scientists invested many types of vaccine, the mortality of infectious disease decreased rapidly.
 
In addition to medical contribution, I believe that science can make our lives more convenient. In modern life, we use many convenient tools such as a car, refrigerator and computer. With these modern technologies, we can go anywhere quickly, communicate with people all over the world and eat what you like every day. For instance, people didn’t have cell phones a few decades ago. At that time, they couldn’t get contact with someone whenever they want to after going out. They always had to look for a public phone. This situation used to bring them troubles for an appointment or schedule. These days a cell phone solved these problems in such an irritating situation.

Finally, alongside the issues of development in medical field and modern technology, I feel that people can keep their lives safe thanks to scientists. You must have seen or been examined body check with a machine at an airport when you flied to another country from your county. Dangerous chemicals or guns, knives could be found without being looking at inside of a suitcase or pockets. If custom officers find someone who has powder, they can find out whether or not it is illegal drug quickly. These cases don’t allow dangerous people to enter to your country using scientific technique. Scientific proof can identify someone who is against low and helps you stay away from dangerous environment.

In considering the issue of science and its contribution, I have explored factors such as medical effect, modern technology and safe environment. These considerations lead me to agree that scientists give our society more important contribution than artists do. 

-kumin

Score = 5.0

Outstanding essay, and perfect application of the various techniques presented in the TOEFL Writing Mentor tutorials. Well done!

:D :D :D

The arts are appreciate for the most of people because they represent the culture of societies and entertaing. However, personally, I agree with the idea that scientist make the most important contributions to society that the artist. For me, that means better health care, much better communications and reduction of the poverty.

First of all, the most of people think that the health is the first thing that all people should solve. According to the new report of ONU, thank to effort of scientist people can live longer than the past. Of course, the arts are an important element for enjoying people, but the scientis have the responsability to keep the life of the people. For example, the rate of death provoked by influenza disease have decreased because the scientist invented an essential medicine to eliminate that illness.

In addition to a better quality of health, the science has been able to create new machines that give more benefits for people. Consider, for example, the invention of computers. Since the computer and internet was developed, the most of people have been communiated around the world. This way allows to create new business, to share information for all people, etc. As a result of the chance to communicate with people or to have more information,  people have a better quality of life.

Finally, in combination with the health and the computer thecnology, governments have used the new invention of tools to decrease the numerous of poor people, such as more food, better technology, better transport, etc. It is true, that art plays an important role in the creation of the important element of one culture, such as dance, singing, paintnig, etc. However, the the most of people have been helped much more with more equipament or facilities, such as, cleaned buses, better education, etc.

In considering the issue of that science have given the most contribution to society, I have explored many factors such as better hopes of life of the majority of people; major quality of communication; and the reduction of the proverty. These may be not sufficient for some people, but they lend me personally to believe that researches have impacted much more positively to the society than the arts.    

      Some people may prefer that art is very significant in our life and it has supported our society in many ways such as making history, helping people expressing their gush of feeling. While other may opt for science which has proven the world that because of it now people are living comfortable life. After veiwing both issues i am inclined to support the assertion that sientists have made the most signifiant contributions to human beings. My persuasive arguments are listed below:
      To begin with, because of scientists' interest in digging the world, now our world has become a small place. To illustrate, computers and internet services have made humans' life so easy that one can talk to a person from overseas. Business executives can condut a meeting by utilizing vedioconference. Now they do not need to travel to suh a longer distance. One can explore information from internet. Personnels use computers to keep record of firms that can assist them to save important datas. They do not need to hinge upon making files and acumulating them.
     In addition to computers and internet, scientists have succeeded in medical field. Nowadays, medical field has showed intangible achievement in surviving ill patients. One can easily transplant organs such as a kidney, a liver. One can capitalize utilizing cryosurgery tehniques. Not only that but also some vaccines have saved many children in this world. Right now they are searching vaccines for AIDS that is not feasible to completely eradicate from the world.
    Finally, I think scientists by using their imagination power constructed ifrastrutures like roads, edifies, transportation services and modern equipements. Now we can live in a hot summer with an air conditioner in our houses. transportation facilities helped us to reach our destination points wihtin few minutes or hours. We can cook within a few minutes in a microwave and we do not require to stand there while cooking.
    my considerations lead me to concur that sceintists have made a great deal of contributions for  human lives.