jasonrenshaw's Blog

Re: Independent Writing Task 2

The most of poeple think that it is better to have close friends because for them it is easier to share interesting activities or increase a strong relatioship in the future. However, I think that to have casual acquaintences is better than to have a close friends. For me, that means you have more alternatives helps, more contacts to develop your tasks in your company, or improve the social relationship with the rest of people.

To begin with, nowadays people have to do many activities at differents roles. Consecuently, if people have many problem, it is more conveniente to have a lot of acquatences that can help them. Of course, it is conveniente to have close friend because they can give you the warraties that they will be when you need help. However, there are a numerous areas where these friends cannot help you. For example, when I was a child, I had a problem with my car. No one of my close friends has knowledge to solve my trouble. But I can solve it because I could obtain the help of my neighbor.

In addition to have more alternatives helps, people have achieved many goals thanks to the numerous of persons that can help them to do their responsabilities. Consider, for instance, the new project of expansion of business. I could recieve many help from people that I met in my univerisity and another places where I worked,  in order to create new stores to promote my new product of my job. I had success, because I had many contact that helped to me to face with that particular goal.

Finally, in conbination with the more assistence from people and to have help in the job, people need to increase their social communication skills. This idea is relevant when I think that today is more demanded that people should know how to communicate with people. Is is true, that to have close friend people can interect much better with another person. However, people can increase the possiblity to increase their skill to communicate whe they have to interact with other people. In the period of my study at the university, I could create many relationship with all students. With the time, I was president of the council university base on my hability to interact correctly with people.

In considering the issue of the benefit to have only close friends, I have explored many factors such as having more help from people, increasing my performance in my job, and improving my social communication. These factors may not sufficient for majority of people, but they led me personally to believe that to have more acquaintences is better for people.  
  

-osvaldo8745

Score = 4.0

Good essay, with excellent organization, cohesion and exemplification, but the language use needs some improvement.

:D

Re: Independent Writing Task 2

No man is an island.  Try to imagine  to yourself without friends in our life,  try to conceptualize that how the friend relationship is significant to our life's journey in this world.  I'm sure that we can not live without any friends,  whether a few close friend or got a number of friends.  Some of us prefer to have only two to three  close friends,  However,  In my view,  I regard the value having  more number of friends that has just meet or acquiated. 

To begin with,  I love to travel.  Every stations or places that I visited,  I found number of friends.  It is pretty obvious that the more I travel the more I got new friends. To have a close of 2 to 3 close friend is not  bad,  However,  having number of casual acquittance friends are more preferable,  because it provides opportunities  and open wonderful door to a optimistic  view of life.  In my experience, I traveled  to Hong Kong for my business trip,  in my way to the airport,  one of my friend called up invited me to attend a birthday party,  which be held in  a good restaurant in Hong Kong. I meet number of friends.  In the party,   the visitors were businessman,  bank employees and executive.  We were talking and discussing things that related to our field of work.  For me,  it is very memorable experienced,  you  got some ideas or stratigies that could help to enhace the business that I owned.  You can not have this kind of experience when you will only have only 2 to 3 close friend.   Sometimes it would not be  reliable about their arguments how to run a sucessful business due to   limitation of discussion in a certain topic.

In addition, I think that it is not needed to know too much in a person inorder we could  trust him or her. It is true,  having few close friends  could have a  secret talks and also could  help you when you are in troubles,  especially  money matters and relationship problem.  How about that they are not around when you get difficulty in life.  It is very frustrating to our part,  if you expect that your close friends be at your side when problem arises.  This is big issue that we must think of it.  Casual acquaintaces friends is much preferable for me.

Lastly,  being with a group of friends,  it will give you the chance to escape the tirany and betrayal of your closefriend.  Considering my past experience,  relyng and trusting too much it will bring frustration and seperation of relation. Imagine that you trust all things to her and discussed fragile topic with you closefriend. There were a time that she announced  the secret topic to others.  I have realized that there is no secret unrevailed. This really frustrate me.

The reasons and examples that I've mentioned above lead me to believe  that it is better to have casual friends than having a few close friend.

-seth

Score = 3.5

You have clear reasons and do a good job of supporting them with examples. Unfortunately your grammar, word selection and basic spelling let you down in a lot of places... You could really improve this score with some simple editing.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 2

The general topic the reading and listening passage is popular culture. The listening passage gives some supporting examples to the concepts stated in the reading passage.

To being with, the professor claims that phrases such as "the force stay with you" had a significant meaning in older generations across the US, UK and Canada because of the movie Star Wars. However, nowdays, this phrase does not have a particular meaning for young generations. This idea asserted by the lecture supports the concept that popular culture has its roots in entertaiment, literature and sports among others as shown in the reading passage. Additionally, it illustrates the believe that the popular culture of teenagers and their parents are different as claimed in the reading passage.

Another example presented by the lecturer is about the phrase "take off aye!" created in Canada and the end up being part of its popular culture. The lecturer asserts that although this phrase was quite popular in Canada - an english speaking country  - its popularity it did not spreadout to countries such as US or the UK where the phrase was not understood. This example supports the idea in the reading passage that popular culture depends in part on the communication means that a society could have. Also, it gives a base to the believe that because of language variations, things that have a meaning in one country may not be understood in some other country, despite of the fact they both speak the same language.

-ezzers

Score = 4.0

A really good response - just a pity that the connections you make and examples you give for the second body paragraph are somewhat incorrect!

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 2

The reading passage  and the lecture both presents the ionic phenomena in pop culture that are found in the entertainment, literature and sports. Moreover,The professor points out several examples to support the idea of the passage.

The professor quotes a statement from the movie war star in 1977  which is " May the force be with you"  which affects on the Britain, Canadian and U.S. language. The reading passage asserts that teenagers have  different expression compared to their parents which affects the language.

The professor also states an examples that influences the teenagers as Harry Potter and Era. He also adds that there are many words taken from a Canadian programs that affects many people in several countries.The reading passage states that the language will vary from culture to culture as the popular culture and this is because of the media of different countries that affects the teenagers. 

-nourallah

Score = 2.5

You're only half way there, unfortunately! The detail and connection in the first body paragraph is too vague, and the information in the second body paragraph is incorrect in many ways.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 2

            The reading comprehension discuss about some iconic phenomena between pop culture and language usage. The Professor in the lecture agrees with the topic by giving some examples in support of the statement of reading material.

        First of all, Professor says that language usage is a product of cultural activity though we take it as granted. He gives an example of a phrase 'may the force be with you' which may not mean nothing for today's generation, but it was a dialogue of a film name 'Star wars' in 1977 which was very famous in 80's western countries like UK, USA, Canada etc. But for our new teenage generation, film like 'Harry potter' is more influencing. These statements support the reading material which says that entertainments,literature, sports now a days plays a vital role on shaping the culture and alternative phenomena influence different persons of different times.

        Additionally, the reading comprehension states that the language and culture of any particular country may differ from one another; as popular culture of any specific is not prominent for others. This happens because the media in various countries are not readily available in other countries. Here, these statements are supported by some examples given by the lecturer who says that though Britain and Canada both has the same language usage, still popular comedy shows broadcast in Canada does not have any influence on the audiences on Britain or Australia.
                                                                                                                             -Asif

-asiflaw

Score = 3.5

Very good effort, but your first point from the lecture (though brilliantly reported) is integrated with the wrong sort/section of information from the reading passage.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 2

The pasage and the lecture talk about the laguage how it is inffluence by the pop culture. The professor in the lectures agrees to the ponts mentioned in the passage.

the professor say that the language is mostly influenced by the pop culture of that era or period. There are some of the words which we may not understand or does not mean any thiung to us, but it makes sense to the my parents or older people. in the lecuture professor talks about a phrase which had no sense to this generation but my parents were familar with that as, it was pharse fromt the movie of 1977. This supports to point mentioned in that passage that teenagers uses a differnt type of expressions of language which is differnet from what their used when they were young.

Additionally. proffesor also mentions that language is consiced to one geographical area. As differnet cultures can not be spreads easily to many places. to support this point in passage proffesor gives an example of the comedy show of canada which was not familar in britain or australia.

-mehraj

Score = 3.0

You have the main points, and made a reasonable attempt at integrating them, but your writing has real problems in basic punctuation (especially capital letters at the start of sentences), lacks specific examples and appropriate details in some parts.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 2

The reading passage explains the influence of a pop culture to a language. The professor supports this idea, and gives an extended explanation.

The professor discusses how the pop culture influences the language use. As there are a lot of phrases and words taken from movies and other sources. He gives an example from from the movie called “rs”. Many phrases were taken from this movie and then were commonly used in 1970s. In fact these phrases did not mean anything. However it helped people to understand each other. For modern teenager common phrases are taken from movies such as “Harry Potter” and others. Therefore, professor supports the idea from the reading passage that some phrases from the pop culture are used to shape our social interactions, and it depends on time.

The professor claims that the one specific pop culture can not influence the whole world. He gives an example of Canadian phrase “You hasor” which can be understood only in . These means that some countries have their own specific ways of interacting. This example supports the theory from the reading passage that culture can be unique, and if the country is lack of information they can have their unique one.

-mcduck

Score = 4.0

Very good effort. The only problem is that some of your sentences are in fragments and clearly not completed properly. Be sure to edit before final submission!

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 2

Both the reading passage and the lecturer talk about how certain pop cultural facts can affect the lenguage in a country or area. The lecturer supports the points of the writer by making examples. 

The lecturer mentions that there are certain phenomenons that affect people's lenguages. He states a example, "Star wars", like a movie that was incorporated and affected directly some lenguages of people around the world, such as  USA and Canada in 80s. This point support many points made in that reading, that younger people are used a different expression than the parents used in the past because they are affect with new media of communications, beliefs, or ideas. 

In addition, the reading passage asserts that the use of one lenguage is addapted in different cultures. Also, because there are remote areas where people live, it is difficult that they can perceive new ideas or expression in the same form that the rest of culture in its country. The lecturer, in addition, supports this point as well, pointing out that there have existed many successeful shows on television, but these have affected to a local area. He relates a famous show in Canada, which had a important effect in canada's society but it was not transfered to the rest of the countries.     

-osvaldo8745

Score = 4.0

Very good response, but a little more specific detail in terms of the examples would have improved the score further.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 2

The lecturer agrees with the point presented in the reading that languages affect to cultures. He offers some examples to support his ideas.
          
           To begin with, he agrees with the point in the reading that languages used in on period are different from another era. He gave one example of films that star wars came out in 80’s and got popularity among western cultures reflects the culture at that time. The words or meanings in the film have little meanings now. Instead, the new movie, such as Hurry Potter, is now considered to have more meanings to people today. Hence, the difference in language indeed exists between different generations.
          
           Next, he moves on to talk about the relation between culture and language to introduce the other factor that categorizes pop culture. In the lecture he mentioned two languages that are common in Canada, however, they mean little in Australia or Britain. As the example indicates, even if certain words spread in a country, they sometime end up remaining in the country and never across counties.

           To sum up, the lecturer mainly agrees with the idea that stated in the reading that different phenomena found in each culture have influence on languages and cultures for these reasons.

-mikitty

Score = 4.0

Generally a very good response - just a few errors and some of the actual language examples would have made it better.

:D

Re: Independent Writing Task 1

Hi Jason, this is my first attempt at Independent writing task and I managed it at 30 min.

Personally, I disagree with the idea of watching television is bad for children.

To begin with, children can use some educational program at television. Nowadays, some companies begin to make scientific programs about nature, animals etc for children. These programs aim to help children in learning new things related to their school courses. From my own experience, when I was ten years old, there was a program about mathematics for elementary school students at television which really helped me to improve my mathematics knowledge.

In addition, television programs can have positive social influences on kids. Consider, for example, children shows about social issues at the society like garbage collection problems and learn how to deal with that at society.

Finally, watching television should be a funny time for children. Television programs can fill up the children time by showing enthusiastic programs. Of course, in some cases, children can use this time to pursue their studies. However, according to my own experiences, watching funny television programs may result in better performance in study

To sum up, these factors lead me to believe that watching television could be beneficial for children.

-shamekh

Score = 4.0

You've applied the basics very well here, and shown good control over your language use and organization. You probably need to support your ideas in more depth in order to improve your score from here. But you've made an excellent start considering that you stuck with the official time limit! With more practice, you're going to do very well!

:D

Re: Independent Writing Task 1

                
        Imagine a home without a television where we have to wait for a whole day to get any information about the world. These days television is not just a machine anymore.  Television is one of a kind invention which is invented by the scientists with multipurpose use. Beyond doubt that television can have bad impact on the children but ratio of the advantages is far more than the disadvantages of television watching by children. So, personally, I disagree with the statement that watching television is bad for children. 

        First of all, I think that television is one of the upcoming and modern method of educating the children.  Though there may be some programs which should not be seen by the children but nowadays there are many educational programs which are showed in the television only for the children. These programs helps the children to learn mathematics, languages, songs. music etc. This is a scientific along with entertainment method which helps the children to learn very easily. For example, I recently saw a program in a channel name Pogo where the children were taught how to make different kinds of things made of paper. I saw with wonder how various method of simple geometry can be taught.

        Secondly, along with the education factor, I feel that television plays a vital part in teaching the children about the global culture while they are still eager to learn more and more. Consider, for example, if a child does not know about the outside world and only limits his knowledge with local news and education, then how he is going to cope up with the world which now has become a global village and how he is going to survive in a open market policy where any person capable can get a better job if he is capable. Television is the best way for the children to gather the knowledge and information about the world. Of course, we consider the fact that seeing different kinds of culture might degrade their interest in their own culture. However, by way of television, it will be easy for the new generation to understand the culture of different countries along with their own culture, and ultimately helps them to learn new things which may help them to lead their life.

        Finally, alongside the process of learning and gathering global knowledge, I believe, television is a method which can be used by the parents to bring up their child with ease. It is true that, television is making the parents more lazy and less irresponsible towards their children. Still, as todays parents are very busy and sometime they cannot give full time to their children and most parents do not have such skill to guide their children; for them, television is kind of a babysitter for them. By way of example, I have two children and me and my wife both has to go for job and we use television as our representatives and our children are also very fond of watching educational programs there.

        To sum up, I consider educational potential, way of global interaction and way of relief for the parents which led me to overturn the blanket statement that "watching television is bad for children".

-asiflaw

Score = 5.0

Wow - perfect essay! You've obviously learned from the TOEFL Writing Mentor tutorials and put those writing strategies to use in your own composition. It's excellent - the ideas, the organization, the cohesion, the concession - everything. I also thought the use of examples was particularly effective.

Please just observe the note in the essay before this one about correct paragraph formation - it's a minor thing, but I'd hate to see you get penalized for it when you can write this well!

:D :D :D

Re: Independent Writing Task 1

           Even though some people think that watching television is bad for children, I think it, in fact, gives some advantages to children. There are three reasons: education, communication, and time efficiency.
                     
           To begin with, some TV programs are so educational that children actually learn a lot. When I was younger, I watched one program which was broad casted in English. Since there was nobody around me who spoke English, that program enabled me learn English. In this case, only this TV programs was the way I could study. In other words, my English level would have been lower than that now. Moreover, some programs offer history, geology, math, etc, which is actually deepen the knowledge more than that children can learn at school. It is true that some programs are not appropriate for children, if they watch proper programs, it rather enhance their knowledge.
          
           Next, watching TV provides more opportunities to communicating with families or friends. According to the research, the place where most conversation is taken place is during watching TV. TV provides a lot of different kinds of topics that children can talk about. According to my experience, there is a distinct difference between dinner with TV on and dinner with TV off. As the research indicates, dinner with TV on created more opportunities to have conversations with families. What is better, it allows us to know what others think about. And from there, the conversation developed. In addition to this, this works with friends. One observation showed that over 80% children talk about what they watch last night or about TV programs. Hence, TV indeed helps children to communicate others well.

           Finally, TV lets children do effective time management. If children are allowed to watch TV after they finish their assignment, they would be willing to study hard. Children tend to be distracted by TV, but by deciding from what time to what time they can watch, they can concentrate on study and enjoy watching programs they want.
          
           In conclusion, some adults think that children should not watch TV because it affects adversely, I think it gives more beneficial results to children in terms of cultivate children’s ability; expands places to communicating; and controls their time more effectively. It still may not be persuasive to all people, however, these factors lead me to believe this way.

-mikitty

Score = 4.5

Quite a strong essay, with clear main ideas, good organization and progression, and also some useful concession to create a balanced feel to your arguments. It can be a bit risky to create research results, as this can look too vague and/or convenient... Also, choose one but not both methods: either leave a blank line between paragraphs, or just enter down to the next line and indent. Don't use both methods together!

:D

Re: Independent Writing Task 1

I personnally believe that watching television has bad effect on the children

Most of the television shows  are fake. There are many which makes the kids violent. They watch all the shows which are been telecasted on the tv. As here most of the parents are working and they hardly have time for kids, so kids spend time watching television. There is nobody to look what they are watching or doing. they are so inspired from the television and movies and they wanted to gain attraction from the people around as the actor or actress gets. And learn  all the bad  stuffs shown like fighting, killing and so on. Recently I read  in a newspaper  about boy shooting his friend. When police asked that kid why did he do so, then he told they were only trying to only do what their favourite actor did it on the show. But he does not he actually killed his friend in real whereas, whatever is shown on televison is fake not real

Sow make them violent. there are many shows which makes kids to be violent. every day we hear  the from newspaper and television. how abnormal kid are behaving. What I feel is  this because of the television shows

Most of them are made for adults. shows are so adultered that children by watching those are out parents control. those shows are not meat to watched by chilren as it is not good for their mental and physical growth. It is having negativde impact on the kids.

Most of the show addictive. children are glued to tv that even when they are eating, brushing or doing homework  wat to watch their favourite shows do not want to miss a bit of it. I,myself was so attached to television that i missed all the fun in life. Like i never used to go any party or any function because i will miss my show and will not know what happened in that part, so most of them i stayed home. Becausse of my that attitude Iam that socialising as my sisters are . and now also i hesitate to talk to people

to conclude I feel televison is not only harming studies of kids but destroying the future of the child and the society too.

-mehraj

Score = 3.0

Your paragraphs either don't have one clear main reason that is developed and supported clearly, or have one clear idea which is not actually supported in any realistic way. You also need to watch your basic punctuation.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

Both reading and listening passage discuss about wind power. Writer points out some disadvantages of wind power but at the same time speaker disputes the ideas mentioned in the reading passage.

To begin with,speaker claims that the costs of the wind turbine set up returns back within a short period of time and casts doubt on the point in the reading that huge amount of energy is required  for the production and transportation of  required raw materials for wind farm and it results in a negative carbon foot print.

Secondly, reader mentions that the wind turbines are always a threat to the birds and species like bats. At the same time speaker argues that the threats for such birds by wind turbines are always negligible when we compare with the number of birds killed by the pollution produced by motor vehicles, buildings and pollutions caused by human beings.

In addition, listening passage casts doubt on the point mentioned in the reading section that wind power plant affects the effectiveness of land use. Speaker disagrees with this and claims that mostly offshore places are selected as location for the wind turbines and also the same land can be beneficially used for other purposes like agriculture and cattle farming.

Finally, reading passage  points out that wind turbines have an impact of anesthetics on landscapes and locations where people live near by. Lecture argues that  it is not true as most of the wind turbines are located in remote and strong windy places where usually people don't  live and also mentions about UK study which reports that 70% people who stays near by such wind turbines like or don't care about the sounds produced by such farms.

-deeps

Score = 5.0

Excellent response! My only caution to you is to check your sentences and make sure they don't become too long, with too many additional clauses.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

The reading passage discusses the disadvantages of wind power as an alternative energy. However, the professor's lecture disputes this argument

The first point that the professor uses to casts doubt on the reading is that wind farms do not use initial energies. In addition, after 9 month the amount pays back. This point different from the reading in that the reading states that advocators often do not take into consideration the significant amount of energy for manufacturing and trasporting the materials.

The professor also states that the reading has exagerated the threat of wind turbines on migratory birds. The professor states that it is negligable in comparison to the threat that result from cars. In addition, the research studdy in Denmark shows that winter bind are located offshore which is not dangerous for bats.

The reading also argues that another disadvantages of wind farms is the problem of use efficient lands. According to the reading, wind farms requires large amount of lands. This is in contradiction by little space on ground for wind farms that the professor made in the lecture.

Another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that wind farms are located in windy areas, that are isolated from the places where people live. Also, people think that wind turbines are impressive or either common. This point is contradicted by the aesthetics problem of wind turbines that the reading argued.

-shamekh

Score = 4.0

Very good attempt, but lacking in sufficient detail to score higher than this.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

         
        This reading passage talk about the disadvantages of wind power as alternative source of energy. But in the lecture the Professor disagrees what the reading material says along with some positive points.
       To begin with, in the reading comprehension, it says that, though wind power is called a clean energy, still there needed a considerable amount of energy to manufacture and transport the materials to built a wind farm and ultimately create a "carbon footprint" . But the Professor deny this by stating that the amount used to build such huge structure pay back the initial cost within nine month of building such plant.
       Additionally, the Professor stated that, the excuse that shown by the critics of the wind generator about the loss of life of migratory birds, bats and other species is exaggerated. The amount of life loss of those species are negligible in ratio of life loss because of road accidents, high rise building etc. He also shows a thesis made by Denmark that, Migratory birds generally avoids where wind turbans are made without changing their route. Moreover, many turbans are made in offshore location for which there is less chance of harm for the bats too. These statements by the Professor cast doubt on the statements made in the reading comprehension about the threat for migratory birds, bats and other species because of these wind turbans.
        In the reading comprehension, it is stated that the wind power impact badly on the use of land because large amount of land is used. But the Professor denies the fact by arguing that, the land used by turbans are very little and it is build in such areas where it is very windy and less people prefer to live there. Furthermore, the land used for these wind generators can also be used for agriculture and cattle farming.
        Lastly, in another statistics shown by the Professor in support of his statement where the study made by UK proves that 70% of the people actually like or do not mind with the view of such turbans. Moreover, these turbans are sometime offshore or where the populations are far away. These cast a doubt of the reading material which  criticize by stating that building of the turbans are "aesthetic" and has a negative visual impact where people live in.

-asiflaw

Score = 4.0

Generally very good reporting of key points and details, and well integrated across the sources.

Mind, however, that this was about wind turbines - not 'turbans' (look in your dictionary and you'll see this error will cause problems in understanding!)

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

      The reading and the listening passages discuss about "Wind power". The professor refutes some ideas made by the auther in the reading passage.
      The professor explains that the energy which is spent to generate wind power can be paid back in 9 months of interval. While the writer explains that a great deal of energy is necessary to transport and assemble whole materials in a wind farm.
       The professor makes second point about the figures of birds killed by wind turbines are insignificant. According to the Denmark study analysis, Birds learn to avoid wind turbines. On the contrary, the auther expresses that some species of birds are killed because they are captivated to go near wind turbines for their roosting places.
        The listening passage asserts that space for wind turbines are minimal. So much of space can be ustilized for agricultural purpose. Conversly, the reading passage concerns about wind turbines which occupy a huge quantity of land for their construction.
       Lastly, the teacher mentions that wind turbines are located at remote area. In addition to it, a majority of people do not hesitate for using wind power. Infact, they support the idea of generating wind power. But the writer explains that space for wind power is very near to public location.

-nisha

Score = 3.0

Lacks sufficient detail, and some information is slightly incorrect or incomplete. You also need to be careful with basic punctuation and grammatical usage - not to mention basic spelling. I suggest you ensure you have some time to go back and edit your writing to avoid a lowering in the score due to basic sentence level errors...

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

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The reading passage describes disadvantages of the wind power, as an alternative source of energy. However, the listeing set of material casts doubt on these disadvantages by giving examples and adding recent studies.

To begin with, the teacher agrees with the information in reading the passage that carbon materials should be transportated to wind farms and constructed. However, he says that the wind turbines pay back invested money in 9 hs from the start of using the wind turbines.

In addition, the teacher says that the wind turbines don’t harm birds and bats, as cars, buidings, etc do. In fact, a number of bids killed by the wind turbines is exaggerated.  He supports his idea by adding a scientist’s study about bird migration. This study concludes that birds are able to manage their routes and avoid flying through the wind farms.

            emore, the teacher adds that a footprint of the wind turbines is not big, and there are still much place where people can create cattle farms, or other vegetable or fruit farms.

Finally, according to the reading passage the wind farms spoil the aesthetic view of that ares. But the the teacher contradicts it by giving the results of English study. This study shows that 70% of people don’t mind the turbines or even like them. In fact, turbines are situated in such windy places where people don’t leave, as it is hard to live in these areas.

-mcduck

Score = 3.0

You are developing the right approach, but there are problems with sufficient detail and language use. One of your paragraphs is also clearly incomplete...

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

The reading passage mentions about the wind turbines and their effects on the migratory bird, land and talks about the energy required to be consise talks about the disadavantages about it. But the professor in the lecture is against it.

Firstly, professor mentions that though there is intial energy required to set up the wind turbines, but it pays back with in the 9 months. By this points out the point in the passage that it is energy cosuming.

Secondly, profosser also points out that, the  amount of deaths of bats and  migrating birds is nothing when comapred to death caused by the other sources like building, polution etc.

Finally, professor tells that, the wind turbine uses very little amount of space. they are usally situated offshore and places where it is very windy. and mostly people dont live in windy places and moreever if people are living in places where there wind turbine. It doest effect the peolplee around either they like it or it doesnt matter them. this way cast doubt on th point in the reading passage that occupies lot of space, and it doest not have good visual effect.

From the above points we can conclude that proffesor does not agree with the points in the reading passage.

-mehraj

Score = 2.5

Many key details are missing from the response, and not all of the information you present is actually integrated across both sources. You also need to be more careful with punctuation.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

The reading passage presents the popularity of wind power alternative energy initiative. The professor, however, disputes these arguments.

The professor points out that the wind power costs of this mission 9 months average. This casts doubt on the point in this reading passage that carbon footprint required to manufacture and transport the materials are negligible.

The professor also claims that the number of birds killed by the wind are negligible to those who are killed by the cars, the buildings or the pollution. He quotes a recently study from Denmark that the migratory birds avoid the turbine areas.On the other hand, the passage mentioned that the wind turbines threatens the migratory birds and a special species of bats by their attraction to the turbines.

The reading passage also asserted that the effective land use for positioning turbine to generate power.The professor disputes this point as well by saying that it is a very little use of land like the isolated areas for turbines.

 The reading passage asserted that there is one other disadvantage which is aesthetics that it has a negative visual impact of turbines to where people live.The professor finishes by asserting that 70% of people like or do not mind the impact of turbines.

-nourallah

Score = 2.5

Your introduction and first body paragraph have the positions of the two sources back to front! In addition to that, the rest of the response lacks key details to make the response comprehensive.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

The article and the lecturer talk about the wind power as an alternative source of power energy.  The reading presented the disadvantage benefits while the professor made several points that refutes the ideas presented  in the article. 

To begin with,  the professor points out that the production of the wind power will have a pay back cost approximately for 9 months.  This cast doubt on the point made in the  article that the energy used have "carbon footprint" required to transport and manufacture for set up.

Another point made by the professor  is that he discredit the fact of killing of migratory birds and bats cause by wind turbines, he claims that this is exaggerated .In fact, he claims that there is more killing of birds due to car and high rise building accident,  he also announce  the research evidence made from Denmark that migratory birds were able to avoid wind turbines as their roosting location and also he  he claims  that wind turbines were usually  off shore located, this means that birds and bats were at the distance. This refutes what the reading  is presented.

Finally, the reading asserted that wind power needs more and huge land to accommodate,  However,  according to professor,  to accommodate the wind turbines structure, it needs a small amount of land and the same time it could also use for agriculture. He also mention that wind turbines location  setting  at isolated area, away from the populated community. So, the professor disputes what is asserted from the reading passage.

In conclusion, the professor challenges the claims made in the reading by showing that wind turbines are safe and have potential benefits.

-seth

Score = 3.5

You've got the right idea, but your score is being pulled back by poor sentence control, problems with punctuation and inaccurate word selection of grammatical application. I'd recommend dedicating some time towards the end to make sure you check and edit your writing.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

Both the reading and the listening passage talk about the real benefit of wind energy. The professor casts doubts on several key beliefs about this alternative resource is not a conveniente project as they are mentioned in the reading passage.

To begin with, the professor emphasize that the companies can obtain faster benefits by instaling these turbines. He mentions a pratical example, where companies can recover the cost of the investment in nine months.This directly challenges the assertion in the reading passage that the process and basic element that need a firm to build the project is expensive in regard to the benefit that it gives. 

The reading passage also asserted that the infraestrucuture to produce energy have killed numerous animals, such as, bat, birds. The professor, however, disputes this point as well, pointing out that car and building that use fuel energy have provoqued more damage than the wind energy, such as health problem made by pollution. In addition, the professor clarify that the mayority of  installation are in differents ways that migration bird are use to go out. 
 
Also, the professor emphasize the fact that the installation use little space to produce electricity. He mentions that this type of construction do not limit that people can develope their agriculture. In contrast, the writer mentions that people are complicated to use the land for other porpouses becasue it limite to have sutiable space to work the ground.
 
The speaker finishes by asserting that most construction are in a remote areas. This means, that it do not affect the visual of people to appreciate adequately the nature. In addition, the professor base on an encuest he says that people that live close to installations wind have felt not affected. This would seem to cast doubts on the argument in the reading passage that people have not enjoyed of the beatiful lanscape because of the presence of a turbine machine.

-osvaldo8745

Score = 3.5

A very good attempt, but there are major problems with spelling and grammatical usage, and some of your facts are slightly incorrect - or else you have made inferences or drawn conclusions that aren't quite there in the original sources.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

The main topic of the lecture and reading passage is windmill power. The reading passage point out facts that the lecture overall disputes.

To begin with the professor argument that the energy used for producing and transporting the windmill is being payed back in the form of produced energy within 9 months. This seems to contrast the reading passage, where it is claimed that manufacturing and production of the windmill makes the energy production a ‘non-clean energy’.

Moreover the professor points out that the number of birds killed by windmills is anything compared to the number of birds killed by cars and pollution. In addition Danish research shows that birds are able to avoid the windmills and often windmill are located off shore, where it doesn’t pose a threat to birds. This seems to dispute the reading passage, which states that the turbines of the windmill are a threat to migrating birds and bads.

In addition the professor states that a windmill uses minimum of space leaving space for farming. This also seems to dispute the reading passage, which claims the ineffective land use in the areas of windmill placements.

The professor also points out that windmills often are located in areas, where people don’t like to live. Moreover it is shown that 70 % of people like or don’t mind the look of windmills. This seems to cast doubt on the reading passage, where it is claimed that windmills cause negative visual disturbances in landscapes and in areas where people are living.

-netedissing

Score = 5.0

Some minor language problems, but not enough to cause a reduction in score (in my opinion). You've covered the essential information extremely well, and integrated it perfectly! Well done!

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

The reading passage suggested that generation of wind power brings about several disadvantages. The professor, however disputes the arguments presented in the passage.

To begin with, the professor argue that the initial energy required to start a new wind power is reasonable that it can be reclaimed within a short period of time, namely in nine months. This statement contradict the reading passage where it maintained that setting up wind power requires too much energy to manufacture and transport, which further creates ‘carbon footprint’ effect.

The professor also believes that the wind turbine’s negative effect on migratory bird and certain bat species are overstated in the reading passage.  He further argues that cars and pollutions are bigger threat to those animals. In fact, in recent study from Denmark, it suggest that migratory birds are more likely to avoid the location of wind turbines. In addition to that, the remote offshore location of many wind turbines significantly reduce the possible threat to bats as well.

The reading passage mentioned that the large amount of land required to build enough viable energy resource in wind power generation is a waste of land use. The professor cast doubt on this point as well, pointing out that each turbine consumes only little part of the overall land, and the rest of the land can be used for farming and algiculture.

On the account of the ‘aesthetic’ issue raised in the reading passage, the professor also maintains that this is unlikely to be true. He asserts that most wind turbine are located in the most remote area, away from where people live. According to the finding of British researchers, although the turbines are close to the residential area,   70% of the resident actualy like or don’t  mind the present of wind turbines. 

-inasaja

Score = 5.0

Outstanding response on all counts!
Perhaps just pay more careful attention to accurate use of plural -s for some nouns, and third person -s ending for present simple verbs with singular subjects.

:D

Re: Integrated Writing Task 1

Jason please score my writing here,  Both lecture and the reading passage describes about the wind power. Reading passage states some of the serious disadvantages of wind power which is as an alternative source of energy. However, in the lecture, the professor made several points about the wind power which is casts doubt to the reading passage. 

Firstly, the point made by the lecturer uses to cast doubt is the wind generation plants pay back first cost of the setting them within nine month. Whereas, reading passage presents that setting up wind farms needs too much energy and for manufactores and for the transport, which brings a negative "carbon footprint". 

Furthermore, the professor claims that migratory birds are can avoid the location of wind turbines by giving the example of recent study from Denmark. In addition, he argues that the number of birds killed by wind turbine is negligible compared to the number of birds killed by cars, building, and due to other human activities.  

Moreover, the reading passage presents the idea wind energy is bad for land use, because large amounts of land are required to build enough wind turbines which makes wind farm viable as an energy source. But, the professor claims that each turbine uses very little land and still the land can be used for agriculture purposes. 

To sum up, the professor says that most of the wind farms are in remote area far from human locations. Ultimately, he gives the example of UK where wind farms are nearby people locations. They do not mind and actually 70% of people ike the sight of turbines. These are seem to be cast doubt on the argument in the reading passage which states that wind farms have a negative impact and a problems.

-shabik

Score = 4.0

You've presented most of the information and facts from the sources, and generally integrated them reasonably well. The language use does have regular errors, however, and some of the writing devices are repetitive and not used with accuracy.

:D